The Challenge

Being a Stay at Home Mom definitely has its perks.  I can come and go as I please.  Schedule things to do with friends during the day.  Play chauffer to my kids for various after school activities. Volunteer for things within our community. The list goes on.  But the one downfall I have found to being at home is a struggle for identity.  


This may sound petty but as a stay at home mom I am a jack of all trades, master of none, in a manner of speaking.  For those with careers, there is an identity with your job.  If you think about it you have a title such as “Accountant”, “Business Manager”, “Math Teacher”, and the list goes on. When I worked full time before leaving my job to stay home I was an Environmental Scientist.  I had a title, a specialty.  Something others could turn to me and look for my expertise when they had issues in the areas I worked in daily.  But as a stay at home mom I find myself lacking in ways to share myself and by sharing myself feeling valuable in the world,  contributing to my family by doing more than driving them from point A to point B.  Do I love my role, my “job”.  Most of the time. It has its moments when I would rather be doing something else.


Being a stay at home mom is a thankless job.  How many times do people with careers aspire and work toward a promotion or “atta boy” from their boss?  I would bet most people long for that form of appreciation and job status.  However, what do those of us in the trenches receive?  The occasional thanks, but more often, the “mom, I don’t have clean socks”, “when is supper”, “why do I have to help with that”.  And then there is the mantra that follows when your husband returns home.  “What did you do all day?”  So, it comes with never ending tasks, little thanks, and no paycheck.  Yep.  Not a dime.


As I have been on the home front for the past 8 years, I more and more am realizing that I need to do more for me.  Because of constantly pouring myself into my husband and kids I’m realizing that I need to pour a little into me too.  So beginning today, I am challenging myself to be selfish.  You read correctly.  I’m gonna get selfish for 2018. I’m not talking the kind of selfish where the world revolves around me night and day.  Or I spend money like there is no tomorrow and bankrupt my family.  I’m talking the kind of selfish that is doing something just for me each and every day.  My goal is to do at least 15 minutes of something not for my kids, my husband, or anyone else, but just because I want to do it.  It can be as simple as reading the bible for 15 minutes, working out, going for a walk, baking something just because, or scrapbooking.  It could also be something more time consuming like visiting with a friend for half the day or getting a pedicure.


If your cup is empty you cannot pour out any more into your family’s cups.  So beginning now, I want to make sure I fill my cup every day so I can continue filling the cups of others.  So I challenge you to go on this adventure with me whether you are a stay at home mom, a mom working 3 jobs, or somewhere in between.  We all need to fill our cups in order to pour into our families.  Do something for yourself today and leave me a comment describing what you did to inspire others to get “selfish”!

16 thoughts on “The Challenge

    1. Melissa

      That is awesome that you go do lunches with friends and take some time for yourself! I hope you continue finding ways to do things for just you.

  1. Get selfish girl! That sounds awesome! I’m not a stay at home mom, but I would love to be, I think its one of those things where the grass is always greener… both have their struggles and honestly if you can help yourself with 15 minutes a day why wouldn’t you! Great post! Good luck!

    1. Melissa

      It’s very true about the grass seeming greener on the other side. In a career many times there is room for advancement because of a job well done. As a stay at home mom there isn’t any of that. But it does come with many awesome freedoms that career moms don’t have which I am grateful for. I hope you get the chance to stay at home if you would like to!

  2. Being a stay-at-home mom is one thing with a high qualification. All knowledge must be mastered by mom. Not to mention physical activities with the house and kids. So it is great to be a stay-at-home mom. My wife used to have career, but now she turns to a stay-at-home one too. And that’s the ultimate career..

  3. This is great idea to be a little selfish and do something small only for yourself every day. I also think that your blog can be your identity. You can realize your out-side family passions by writing and I think it can be very rewarding. All the best!

  4. I think I have been so selfish then 😆.
    Being a stay at home mom requires you to be a master of all. I am always so “jealous” of moms who are complaining aboit how they can’t have alone time because of the kids or husband whining lol. I think that this is great. I would do anything to be like you 😊 I am a mom, stay at home, but not a stay at home mom taking care of the kids. One daughter staying with her grandparents, and one daughter left us after 17 hours she was born. I am so hopeful that one day I can call myself a stay at home mom.

    1. Melissa

      Thank you! What beautiful thoughts. And sometimes it takes hearing others stories to realize how good we have it. Thanks for sharing.

  5. It is definitely a struggle, but you are so right, an empty cup cannot fill any other cups. Taking 15 minutes a day to yourself is a great attainable goal to make sure you refill your cup.

  6. Nice post! I need to get selfish too…lol It’s a lot of work to be a stay at home mom. Some people don’t get it when you they know you’re a stay at home mom, they believe you’re doing little to nothing. I

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